


Max's Dilemma

by Alec_Trevelyan_006



Category: Saved By the Bell (TV)
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-28
Updated: 2013-08-29
Packaged: 2017-12-24 22:34:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alec_Trevelyan_006/pseuds/Alec_Trevelyan_006
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Max is looking to sell the diner to Jeff, but will he?  Can he trust Jeff or is there someone else he can trust in his time of need?  Just a bit of warning, the plot line includes self-harm.(Max and one of my OC's are cutters.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Show Me Light

**Author's Note: I don't own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters.  They belong to NBC and the writers of the show.  I only own my story and OC's.  Chapter titles reflect whatever music I happened to be listening to at the time I wrote the chapter.  Please read and review.**

**Chapter 1: Show Me Light**

‘Ugh, there’s that feeling again.’   I think as I throw the covers back over my head.

Every day for the last month I’ve woken up with a pounding headache and always feeling sick to my stomach.  This all started after the fundraiser to save The Max, my diner.  I wonder what the hell is wrong with me.  This is not something I’ve ever felt before.  The phone rings jarring me out of my thoughts.  I throw the covers off me and reach over and answer the phone.

“This is Max.”  I say.

“Max, this is Mary, the nurse at your doctor’s.”  The voice on the other end says.

“What can I do for you Mary?”  I ask puzzled.

“I’m calling with the results of the tests you had the other day.”  Mary says

“And, what are they?”

“I’m sorry to tell you, but you have a brain tumor.”

“Is it cancer?”

I begin to pray it’s not.

“I’m afraid it is.”  Mary says.

I feel the blood drain from my face when she says this.  Cancer?  I’m too young to die.

I collect myself and ask, “What are my options?”

“You’ll have to talk to your doctor about that.”

“When can I see him?”  I ask.

“Dr. Greene has an opening tomorrow at two, would you like that?”  Mary asks.

“Yes, I’ll take it.”  I say.

“Ok, we’ll see you then.”

“Yeah, bye.”  I say and slowly hang up the phone.

‘What am I going to do, and who am I going to tell about this?’  I think as I get out of bed.

I get out of bed and get myself ready for what I feel is going to be the worst day of my life.  I head out of my room and I leave the house.  I get in my car and head to work.  When I get there, there is someone standing outside.  I get out of my car and walk up to them.

“I’m sorry, we’re not open yet.”  I say.

“I’m not looking for food, I’m looking for the owner, Max.”  The guy says.

“I’m Max, and you are?”  I ask.

“I’m Jeff, I saw that you were looking to sell the diner.”  He says.

“Let’s go inside and we can talk.”  I say.

“Sounds good to me.”

I unlock the door and we walk in.  I quietly shut the door behind me.

“Have a seat.”  I say.

Jeff walks over to one of the tables and sits down.  I walk over and take a seat across from him.

“As I was saying, I’d like to buy the diner.”  Jeff says.

“I’m not so sure I want to sell it anymore.”

“Why?”  Jeff asks puzzled.

I rub my temples and say, “I have many reasons for rethinking this, and some of them are personal.”

‘I can’t sell my diner to this clown.’  I think.

“What are the reasons that aren’t personal?”

“Jessie, Kelly, Lisa, Slater, Screech, and Zack.”

“Who are they?”

By now my head is pounding again and my vision starts to swim.  I blink my eyes a few times and give my head a quick shake to clear it.

“They’re students at Bayside High.”

“You don’t want to sell this place because of a bunch of high school kids?”  Jeff asks.

“They look up to me, and besides, I told you, I have personal reasons for not wanting to sell.”

“And what are they?”

“They are none of your damn business.”  I say irritated.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pried.”  Jeff says.

“It’s not your fault, I’ve been on edge lately.”  I say.

“Why?”  Jeff asks puzzled

“I nearly lost this place about a month ago, and I keep thinking I still could.”

“So, what does that have to do with me?”

“Zack and his friends helped me save this place, and I know they’d help me again if I asked, but I don’t think they’d do that for someone they don’t trust.”  I say.

“I can get those kids to trust me, what do you say, will you sell me the diner?”  Jeff asks.

“I have to think about it.”

“What’s there to think about, sell me The Max.”  Jeff says.

‘God this guy is cocky.’  I think.

“Let me run this by the kids before I make up my mind.”

“Fine, but if I don’t hear from you in two days, I’m leaving and I won’t be back.”  Jeff says annoyed.

“Deal.”  I say and stick out my hand.

Jeff shakes it and gets up.  He walks away and walks out the door.  I put my arms on the table and cross them.  I put my head on my arms and pray this is all a dream.  My head starts to throb again and I know this isn’t a dream.

“God, I know I don’t usually pray, but I need your help.  I need to know why you’re doing this to me.  Why did you give me cancer, and why did you send that jerk Jeff to buy my diner?”  I ask no one.

Tears slide down my cheeks and I cry.  I just sit there and cry while my employees get things ready around me.

“Hey Max, are you alright?”  Someone asks.

I pick my head up and wipe my face with my hands.  I see Melissa standing there.  Melissa is about 23, a year younger than me, with hazel eyes, and curly dirty blonde hair, she’s one of my best servers.

“No, Melissa, I’m not ok.”  I quietly say.

“What’s wrong?”  She asks.

“I don’t want to talk about it here.”  I say.

“Where can we talk?”

“Come with me, we can talk in my office.”

I get up from the table.  As I do I see a napkin sitting there.  I pick it up and see something scribbled on it.  On it there is Jeff’s name and phone number.  I fold it and stick it in the front pocket of my jacket.

I walk away from the table with Melissa following me.  We get to my office and I unlock the door.  I open the door and Melissa walks in.  I follow her in turning on the light and shutting the door.

“Have a seat.”  I say.

Melissa sits down on the chair next to my desk.  I take a seat at my desk with a sigh.

“What’s wrong Max?”  Melissa asks.

“I got some bad news today.”  I say.

“What happened?  Is everything ok with The Max?”  Melissa asks concerned.

“The Max is fine, but I’m not.”  I say my voice cracking with fear.

“Oh my God, does this have anything to do with the guy you were talking to earlier?”

“Yes and no.”  I quietly say.

“What do you mean?”  Melissa asks puzzled.

“I’m sure you know that I’ve been looking to sell The Max, well that guy I was talking to was looking to buy it.”  I say.

Tears I did not know were forming in my eyes begin to slide down my cheeks as I say this.  I try in vain to wipe them away.  I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I really don’t want to sell this place to Jeff.

“You’re not going to sell to him, are you?”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do just yet.”  I sniffle.

“I know my opinion probably doesn’t mean much, but I think that guy is a jerk.  I don’t like him and I can’t figure out why.”  Melissa says.

“He’s cocky and arrogant and personally, I think he’ll run this place into the ground.”  I say.

“So, don’t sell to him.  It’s that simple.”

“It’s not that simple Melissa.”

“What do you mean by that?”  Melissa asks.

“I have a personal reason for wanting to sell, but on the other hand, I also have a personal reason for not wanting to sell.”

“What are your reasons?”

“Well, I don’t want to sell because this place was my mothers and I want to keep it in the family.  As far as why I want to sell, well, my health is not good.”  I say with a sigh.

“What do you mean your health is not good?”

“Before I tell you that, I need you to swear you won’t say a word to anyone else.”

“I promise, I won’t tell a soul, I will take this to my grave.”  Melissa says.

“I have cancer.”  I quietly say.

“What?”  Melissa asks shocked.

“I found out this morning, I have a brain tumor and it’s cancer.”

“Oh God, Max, I’m so sorry.”  Melissa says.

I see tears form in her eyes.  They stream down her cheeks and land on her shirt.  She tries to wipe them away in vain.

“Please don’t cry.”

“Don’t cry, you’re dying Max, why shouldn’t I cry?”  Melissa asks.

“Melissa, I hate to see you cry, you know that.”

“Are you trying to tell me you love me or something?”

“You know I care about you, in fact I’ve cared about you since we first met.”

“But caring about someone is not the same as love.”  Melissa protests.

“I do have feelings for you, but I’m not sure if I can call it love.”  I say.

“Max, we’ve slept together, how can you say you don’t love me?”  Melissa asks.

I shrug my shoulders and say, “I don’t know.  I’ve never really felt this way about anyone before.”

“Well, I’ve got something to say.”  Melissa says.

“What is it?”  I ask.

“Max, I love you.”

I smile at her.

“Thanks, that means a lot to me.”  I say.

“So, are you ever going to tell Zack and his friends, or the rest of the staff you’re sick?”  Melissa asks.

I nod my head and say, “Yes, I’ll tell everyone after we close tonight.”

“I’ll let the staff know they need to stay after close.”  Melissa quietly says.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“I guess I’ll let you go now.”  I whisper.

I quickly lay my hands on my desk and cross them.  My head drops onto my arms and I bury my face in my desk.  I don’t want Melissa to see the hopelessness and dread that’s written all over my face.  I feel Melissa’s hand on mine.  She gives it a gentle squeeze.

“Max, I’m here for you if you ever want to talk.”  Melissa says.

“Thanks, I may take you up on your offer sometime.”  I say my voice muffled by my desk.

I pick my head up and try to force a smile.

“You don’t have to fake it for me, I know you’re down.”

“I don’t think I can fool anyone.”  I say.

Melissa smiles and gets up.  She stands up and turns to leave.  She gets to the door, turns her head, and speaks.

“Max, I want you to remember something.”  She says.

“What’s that?”  I ask.

“Just remember, you don’t have to face what you’re going through alone.  I’m here for you and I always will be.”

I smile.  Melissa turns her head back and walks out the door, shutting it behind her.  I’m alone with my thoughts now and I’m thinking it might not be such a bad day after all. 


	2. The Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I don't own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters. They belong to NBC and the writers of the show. I only own my OC's and story. Please read and review.

**Chapter 2: The Dark**

I walk out of Max’s office upset and confused.  I know I have to keep things together for both our sakes.

“Hey Melissa, what happened in there?”  Someone asks.

I look and see Ella standing there.  Ella is about my age with long curly light brown hair.  She looks a bit like a female Max, although I’m pretty sure they’re not related.

“Nothing.”  I say.

“Please don’t lie, I know something happened.”  Ella says.

“Ella, I need you to gather the rest of the staff, I need to tell you guys something.”

“Ok, I’ll get them.”  Ella says and walks off.

I watch her gather the staff.

She comes back and says, “They’re ready.”

“Ok, take a seat and I’ll be right there.”  I say.

Ella nods and walks off to take her seat.  I take a deep breath and let it out slowly trying to calm my nerves.  I walk out and stand in front of everyone.  I see ten pairs of eyes looking right at me.  I begin to wish Max hadn’t made me tell everyone.  I brush it off and calm myself.

“I’m sure you are all wondering why I need to talk to you guys.”  I say.

I hear yeahs coming from the staff.

“Max has asked me to ask you guys to stay after we close for the night.”  I say.

“Why?”  Ella asks.

“He has something he needs to say to all of us.”

“Do you know what it is?”  Jean asks.

“He didn’t tell me.  All he said was that it was important.”  I say.

Naturally I’m lying through my teeth.  I know damn well what Max has to say to us.

“I think you’re lying.”  Amy says.

“Guys, I’m not lying, I really don’t know what Max wants to say.”

As I say this Max walks out of his office.  I notice he looks a little green, almost like he’s about to throw up.  He walks over to me.  He gets next to me and leans close.

He whispers in my ear, “Are they giving you a hard time?”

“Yes.”  I whisper.

He stands up and puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Guys, Melissa isn’t lying to you, I didn’t tell her what I need to tell you guys tonight.”  Max says.

“What’s going on Max?”  Beth asks.

“I’ll tell you tonight.  Are you guys going to be there?”  Max asks.

I hear yeah we’ll be there from the staff.

“Ok guys, back to work.”  I say.

After I say this the staff gets back to work.  I hear Max sigh behind me.

“Are you feeling alright?”  I ask

He turns me to face him and says, “No, I feel sick to my stomach.”

“Sit down and I’ll get you some toast and tea.”  I say.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”  I ask.

“Yes.”  Max says with a nod of his head.

“Really?”

“Yes really.”  Max says.

He then pulls me close and gives me a kiss on the lips.

I pull away asking, “What was that for?”

“I’m trying to show you I love you.”

“Do you really?”  I ask.

Max gives a nod of his head as an answer.

“I knew it.”  I say.

“Knew what?”  Max asks puzzled.

“I always knew deep in my heart that you loved me.”

Max smiles at me and says, “I have a surprise for you later.”

“What is it?”  I ask.

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

“I guess you’re right.”  I say with a sigh.

“I promise, the surprise will be a good one.”  Max says.

“I hope so.”

“Why?”  Max asks.

“Because, I hate being let down, that’s why.”  I say.

“I thought maybe you had another reason.”  Max says.

“No, no other reason.”

“Well, I’ll let you get back to work.”

“Ok, I’ll talk to you later.”

I watch Max walk back to his office.

‘I hope he’ll be ok today.’  I think.

I make a mental note to check on him a bit later.  I get through my shift without much hassle until the high school kids come in around noon.  Zack and the gang come in and take their spot in their usual booth.  I walk over to them with a couple of menus.

“Hey guys, can I get you anything?”  I ask.

“Just you.”  Slater says.

“Sorry Slater, I’m taken.”  I say.

“Hey Melissa, where’s Max?”  Zack asks.

“He’s in his office taking care of some unruly server.”

“Max has never fired anyone.”  Kelly says.

“Guys, he’s busy.”

“Just let us talk to him.”  Jessie demands.

“Fine, I’ll go get him.”  I grumble.

I turn and walk off toward Max’s office.  I get to his office and knock on the door.

“Come in!”  Max shouts.

I open the door and walk in.  I find Max sitting at his desk with his head in his hands.  The black jacket he was wearing earlier is haphazardly thrown across the back of his chair. His red t-shirt is stuck to his back like he has been sweating.

“Are you ok?”  I ask.

“I’m fine, I’m just thinking.”  Max says.

“Well, Zack and the gang are here, and they’re insisting on talking to you.”  I say.

“Tell them I’ll be right out.”

“Ok, I’ll tell them.”

I turn and walk out of the office and head back to Zack’s table.

“Guys, Max will be right out.”  I say when I get to the table.

“Great, we really need to talk to him.”  Lisa says.

“What’s so important?”  I ask puzzled.

“We heard a rumor that some guy named Jeff was looking to buy this place.” Screech says.

“Guys, that’s no rumor.”  Max says as he walks up behind me.

“You’re not going to sell, are you?”  Slater asks.

“I’m not sure yet.”  Max says.

“How long do you have to make up your mind?”  Zack asks.

“He’s given me two days to make up my mind and let him know.”

“That’s not much time.”  Kelly says worried.

“No, it’s not.”  Max says with a long sigh.

“What’s wrong?”  I whisper.

“I’m not feeling too well.”  Max whispers.

“Hey, is something wrong Max?”  Jessie asks.

“It’s nothing, I’m getting over the flu.”  Max says.

I know he’s lying to them.  I know what’s really wrong.

“You can’t sell this place to Jeff.”  Lisa absentmindedly says.

“Why?”  Max asks puzzled.

“He might try to change things, and we don’t think that change will work.”  Screech says.

“It might, and it might not.”  I say.

“What do you know Melissa, you’re just a server.”  Slater says.

“I know plenty about how this business works, my parents owned a diner.”  I angrily say.

“I didn’t know that.”  Max says.

“I don’t usually tell people that.”  I say.

“I think I’ve made up my mind.”

“What do you mean?”  Zack asks.

“I’m going to tell Jeff I’m not selling.”

“That’s great news.”  Kelly says.

“I do need one thing from you guys though.”  Max says.

“What’s that?”  Jessie asks.

“I need you to come here after closing time.”

“Why?”  Lisa asks.

“I have something important I need to tell you guys.”

They all say they’ll be there.  They then get up and leave.  Max walks away from the table and as he does I see him sway on his feet.  I run over and grab his waist to steady him. As I do I notice that his shirt is soaked with sweat.

“You ok?”  I ask.

“No, I’m dizzy.”  Max says.

“Do you need help getting back to your office?”

“I don’t think I can make it there.”

I walk him over to an empty table and help him sit down.

“Can I get you anything?”  I ask.

“Just some water.”  Max says.

“Just water?  Have you eaten at all today?”  I ask puzzled.

I don’t recall seeing him eat anything yet today.

“No, I haven’t eaten.”

“Let me get you some toast.”  I say.

“Fine.”  Max grumbles.

‘What the hell is his problem?  Is he anorexic or something?’  I think.

I walk off to get some water and toast for Max.  When I get back to the table I find him slumped over it.  I quickly set the toast and water on the table.  I then grab his shoulder and give him a shake.

“Max, wake up.”  I say.

I get no answer from him.  I begin to pray he’s ok.  I shake him again, just harder.

“Max!”  I shout.

His head shoots up and I watch him try to focus.

“You ok?”  I ask.

“I think so, what happened?”  Max asks puzzled.

“I went to get your toast and water and when I came back I found you slumped over the table.  I think you passed out.”  I say concerned.

“This has never happened before.”  Max mumbles.

I let his shoulder go and take a seat across from him.  Max sits up and rubs his face with his hands.  After a while his hands drop to his sides.

“Do you think it’s because you haven’t eaten?”  I ask.

“I don’t know, it might be.”  Max says with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Eat, and that’s an order.”  I say pushing the water and toast in front of him.

I watch Max as he slowly eats the toast and drinks the water.  I notice he’s eating the toast like he really doesn’t want it at all.

‘He must be anorexic.’  I think.

He finishes eating.

“So, how come you never told me your parents owned a diner?”  Max asks.

“When I left home, I wasn’t getting along with my parents.  I guess I just wanted to put them and their diner behind me.”  I quietly say.

“Why did you get a job here then?”  Max asks puzzled.

“When I came here I was out of other work options, and then there was how I saw you acting with the kids.”  I say.

“How I was acting with the kids?”

“Yes, you always act so nice around them even when they’re mean to you.”

“I’ve never let anyone who was mean to me get to me, even when I was their age.”  Max says looking away.

I know by the way he’s acting that this isn’t true.

“What were you like at that age?”  I ask.

He looks back at me.

“I was a bit like Screech.  You know, the outcast, and I guess in some ways I’m still like that.”  Max says.

“I don’t think you’re like that at all.”  I say.

“Sure.”  Max says with a sigh.

“I mean it.”

“Melissa, look at me.  I’m a diner owner who does magic tricks for a laugh.”

“So, if you like doing magic, why didn’t you become a magician?”  I ask.

“As I told the gang when they asked me, I was much better at flipping burgers than I was pulling rabbits out of my hat.”  Max says.

“There must be some other reason.”  I say.

“The real reason is, my mother disapproved of my becoming a magician, and she wanted me to run the diner instead.”

“Why did she want you to run the diner?  Don’t you have any brothers and sisters?”  I ask puzzled.

“I’m the oldest of three kids, so my mom had to pick me, I guess.”  Max says with disgust.

‘He really must not have wanted to run the diner.’  I think.

“Why couldn’t your siblings do it?”

“My sister, who’s a year younger than me does work here, and my brother, who’s a year younger than my sister got messed up with drugs and is in rehab.”  Max says.

“Who’s your sister?”  I ask.

“My sister is Ella.”

‘Now I know why Ella looks like a female Max.  It’s because she really is his sister.’  I think.

“And she couldn’t run things here?”  I ask puzzled.

Now I’m really confused.  If Ella already works here why couldn’t she run things instead of Max?

“Would you go to a place called The Max if the owners name was Ella?”  Max asks.

‘What the hell is he talking about?  Is this a result of the tumor?’  I think.

“What?”

“Nothing.”  Max says.

We sit there in silence for a few minutes.  I watch as Max looks down at his arms.  He seems to be staring at something.  Scars maybe?  I don’t really know.

“Some scars run deep.”  Max mumbles while looking at his arms.

“Max, are you ok?”  I ask.

He continues to look at his arms.  He takes his right hand and runs a finger over the inside of his left arm.  He’s looking at his arm like he’s tempted to do something, but what?

“Are you alright?”

“Even though the scars are faded, the pain still remains.”  Max mumbles.

I reach across the table and grab his hand asking, “Are you ok?”

That seems to get his attention.  He looks up at me.

“Max, what’s wrong?”

He lets out a long sigh and looks at his arms once more.

“I don’t normally tell people this, but I’m what shrinks call a cutter.”  Max says.

“Meaning?”  I ask puzzled.

“Meaning, I cut my arms and sometimes my legs or body to release pain.”  Max quietly says.

“When did this start?”

“It started when I was about the same age as Zack and his friends.”

“Do you still hurt yourself?”

“Sometimes, it really all depends on the day I’ve had.”

“When was the last time you did it?”  I ask.

“A little over a month ago.”  Max admits.

“So, about the time you found out you were going to lose this place then.”  I say.

Max nods his head in response.  I let go of his hand and stand up.  I walk over to him.

“Stand up.”

He stands up and turns to face me.  I take his right arm in my left hand.  I look at the faded and fading scars that run from his wrist to just above his elbow where they disappear under his shirt sleeves.  I take my right hand and run my fingers across the scars.  I feel Max jump when I touch them.

I release his arm and pull him close.  I wrap my arms around him.  Max takes his arms and wraps them around me.

“You don’t have to do this anymore.  I’m here if you ever want to vent.”  I whisper.

Feeling tears start to prick my eyes I bury my face in his chest.  The tears form in my eyes.  They spill down my cheeks and I sob into Max’s chest, my tears soaking his shirt.

“I promise, I will try my hardest to stop.  I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”  Max whispers.

I pick my head up and look him in the eyes.  I can see in them that it’s going to be hard for him to stop cutting himself.  I smile in the hope he’s really going to stop.

I let him go saying, “I have to get back to work.”

Max smiles and lets me go.  I turn and watch him walk back to his office.  I get back to work trying to kill as much time as I can so closing time comes faster.


	3. All My Life's A Circle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I do not own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters. They belong to NBC and the writers of the show, I have just borrowed them for my story. I only own my OC's and story. This chapter contains descriptions of Max's self-harm.  
> If you don't want to read what he's doing then I recommend skipping the some of the beginning and end of this chapter. If you do read what he's doing and are wondering why Max doesn't 'feel any pain' when he's cutting himself. I figured that he was so numb to the pain he's causing himself and just doesn't feel it anymore. Chapter title comes from the Harry Chapin song Circle. I do not own the song Circle, it belongs to Harry Chapin, I have just borrowed it for my story.

Chapter 3: All My Life’s A Circle

I walk into my office and shut the door behind me. I walk over to my desk and sit down. Looking down at my arms, I can’t believe I’ve just told Melissa my deepest darkest secret. I take my right hand and run a finger over the scars on my left arm. Most of the scars are faded, but some of them are still healing.

In those scars I feel all the pain that’s happened in my life. My mom never listens to me, my dad ignores me, and my brother hates me. Melissa and my sister are the only people who care about me. I stop staring at the scars on my arms. I briefly think about calling Jeff to let him know what I’ve decided, but I decide to wait until tomorrow.

I open my desk drawer and fumble in it trying to find my stash of razor blades. I come across my walkman instead. I pull it out and put on the headphones. I press play and I’m greeted by Harry Chapin singing ‘Circle’.

‘All my life’s a circle, sunrise and sundown.  
The moon rolls thru the nighttime till the daybreak comes around.  
All my life’s a circle, but I can’t tell you why.  
The season’s spinning ‘round again, the years keep rolling by.

It seems like I’ve been here before, I can’t remember when.  
But I got this funny feeling that I’ll be back once again.  
There’s no straight lines make up my life, and all my roads have bends  
There’s no clear cut beginnings, and so far no dead ends.

All my life’s a circle, sunrise and sundown.  
The moon rolls thru the nighttime till the daybreak comes around.  
All my life’s a circle, but I can’t tell you why.  
The season’s spinning ‘round again, the years keep rolling by.

I’ve found you a thousand times, I guess you’ve done the same.  
But then we lose each other, it’s just like a children’s game.  
But as I see you here again, the thought runs through my mind.  
Our love is like a circle, let’s go ‘round one more time.

All my life’s a circle, sunrise and sundown.  
The moon rolls thru the nighttime till the daybreak comes around.  
All my life’s a circle, but I can’t tell you why.  
The season’s spinning ‘round again, the years keep rolling by.’

‘I feel you Harry.’ I think.

I stop the tape. Who am I kidding? This music is just making me feel worse. I take off the headphones and toss the walkman on my desk. I reach back in my desk drawer and find my box of razor blades.

I pull the box out and pull a blade out of the box. I close the box and toss it back in the drawer. For a moment I just stare at the blade in my hand and wonder if I should be doing this. I stop thinking about it and run the blade across the inside of my left forearm. The blood forms on my arm and I feel my pain start to go away.

I take the razor in my left hand and run it across the inside of my right forearm. I watch the blood appear on my arm and I feel a sense of calm. I grab a few tissues from the box on my desk and wrap the razor blade in them. I quickly toss it in my desk drawer. Suddenly there is a knock on the door.

“Who is it?!” I shout.

“Max, it’s Ella, can we talk?” The person asks.

“Yeah, just a minute.” I say.

I grab a few more tissues and wipe my arms. I toss them in my desk drawer and close it. I grab my jacket from the back of my chair and put it on.

“Max?” Ella asks.

“Come in.” I say.

The door opens and Ella walks in.

“What did you want to talk about?” I ask.

Ella shuts the door and walks over to the chair by my desk.

She sits down asking, “What is going on here?”

“What do you mean?” I ask puzzled.

“You wanting to talk to us after closing, and the fact that you passed out today.” Ella says.

“I’ll tell you everything tonight.” I say.

“Why did you pass out? Are you not eating again?” Ella asks concerned.

“What does it matter to you?” I snap.

“Max, I’m worried about you.” Ella says near tears.

“You have nothing to worry about.” I say.

“Really?” Ella asks eyeing my jacket.

“Yes really.”

‘Well, no, not really.’ I think.

Hell, I can’t even fool myself.

“If you’re ok, why is there blood on your hands?” Ella asks.

“I scraped my arms working in the kitchen.” I say.

“Max, don’t lie, you weren’t in the kitchen at all today.” Ella says.

Man, I can’t even fool my own sister. I slowly take off my jacket. I get it off and throw it on my desk.

“You want answers, here’s your answers.” I say sticking my arms in her face.

I see the horrified look on her face when she sees the scars running across my arms. I begin to wonder why I bothered showing her this.

Ella pushes my arms away asking, “You cut yourself?”

“Yes.” I say with a nod of my head.

“How long has this been going on?” Ella asks.

“I’ve been doing it since I was 15.” I say ashamed.

“Why haven’t you ever told me?”

“I’m sure if I told you, you would have told mom.” I say.

“If I had told mom, I’m sure she would have helped you.” Ella says.

“You know damn well mom never listened to me, and dad ignored me. I’m the black sheep of the family. Everyone hates me.” I say.

“Max, you know that’s not true.”

“It is true!” I shout.

“I don’t hate you.”

“You’re the only one who doesn’t.” I quietly say.

“I highly doubt Mark hates you.”

“He’s just as bad as mom. He never listened to me either. Why do you think he’s in rehab?” I ask.

“He’s in rehab because he got messed up with drugs, not because he didn’t listen to you.” Ella says.

“I told him not to do those stupid drugs, but he didn’t listen to me. And he did them anyway. So, it’s all my fault Mark’s in rehab.” I say.

“No wonder you’re so messed up Max, you’re the one who never listens to anyone.” Ella says raising her voice.

“How dare you? You have no right to say that to me!” I shout.

“I have every right to say that. You really don’t ever listen to anyone!” Ella shouts.

“You’re just as bad as mom!”

“No, I’m not!” Ella tries to calmly say.

“You’re right, you’re worse!”

I can’t believe what’s coming out of my mouth. What the hell is wrong with me? Is this a result of the tumor? I really hope it is because I never act like this.

“I don’t believe you Max, you’ve changed.” Ella says.

“Ella, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of that. I don’t know what came over me.” I say.

“I’m sorry too. I know you’re still upset over what happened last month. I shouldn’t have pushed your buttons.”

“So, you forgive me?” I ask.

“I forgive you if you forgive me.”

“I forgive you Ella, you know I can’t stay mad at you for long.” I say.

“And I could never stay mad at my big brother.”

I laugh at that.

“I need to be alone for a few minutes.” I say.

“Why?” Ella asks.

“I have to make a phone call.”

“Ok, I’ll see you later.” Ella says.

“Later.”

Ella stands up and walks out of my office. Once the door is closed I pick up the phone. I dial my parents number. After three rings someone picks up.

“Detweiler residence, this is Erik speaking.” The voice on the other end says.

“Dad, it’s Max.” I say.

“It’s been a long time, how are you?” My dad asks.

‘How am I? I’m awful, I hate my life. And how are you?’ I think.

“That’s kind of why I called. I’m not doing well.”

“What do you mean? Is The Max in trouble again?” My dad asks puzzled.

“No, the diner isn’t in trouble again.”

‘Not like you care about that anyway. You didn’t care the last time The Max was in trouble. You’ve never given a shit about this place.’ I think.

“So, what is it?”

“Dad, I’m sick. I have cancer.” I say with a long sigh.

‘I’m sure you don’t care about that either. You’ve never cared about me much.’ I think.

“You have cancer?” My dad asks shocked.

‘Wow, you do care. Not!’ I think.

“Yes, I found out this morning.”

“Does Ella know?” My dad asks.

‘There you go again. Thinking only of the daughter you always wanted. She’s the apple of your eye and I’m the screw up.’ I think.

“No, I haven’t told her yet.” I say.

“Why?”

“I’ve had other things on my mind today.”

“Well, since we’re making confessions, I have something to tell you.” My dad says.

‘I haven’t confessed anything. You’re the only one making any kind of confession.’ I think.

“What is it?” I ask puzzled and annoyed.

My dad takes no notice of my annoyed tone and continues.

“I’ve only told your mother this, but you have a half brother.”

“What? Who?” Is all I can manage to ask.

A half brother? Who’s the unlucky kid to have my dad as their dad?

“I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Screech Powers is your brother.” My dad says.

“Screech, that’s impossible. He looks nothing like you.” I say.

“It’s true.”

“I don’t want to hear anymore, let me talk to mom.”

I don’t believe this. Screech, my brother, nah, it can’t be. Can it? But I’m pretty sure my dad wouldn’t lie about something like that. A female voice on the other end of the phone brings me from my thoughts.

“Max, it’s your mother.” The voice says.

“Hi mom.” I say.

“What’s wrong?” My mom asks.

I’m not going to beat around the bush telling her, I’m just going to come right out and tell her.

“I have cancer.”

“I’m so sorry honey.” My mom says.

‘Like hell you are. You’re never sorry about anything.’ I think.

“Mom, is what dad said true? Is Screech really my half brother?” I ask.

“Yes, it’s true.”

“Does he know?”

“No, your dad never told him. And I don’t think his mom told him either.”

“I have to tell him.” I say.

“You can’t do that.” My mom protests.

“Sorry mom, he needs to know.”

“But Max…” My mom says.

“No buts, I’ve got to go.” I say cutting her off.

“Bye.”

“Bye.” I say and hang up the phone.

I look up at the clock on the wall and see it’s after closing time. I stand up and grab my jacket from my desk. I put it on and walk out of my office shutting the door behind me. I get out to the dining area and see everyone gathered there. I turn and face all of them and I hope I don’t blow this.

“I’m sure you’re all wondering why I asked you to come here tonight.” I say.

I hear yeah come from everyone.

“I’ve got a couple important things to tell you all.”

This is met with shocked looks from everyone.

“First thing. I know everyone knows I’ve been looking to sell The Max, right?” I ask.

Once again this is met with yeahs from everyone.

“Well, I had someone interested in buying, but I’ve decided not to sell. I can’t sell to someone who might not treat you guys well.” I say.

I get applause from everyone.

“That’s why I’ve decided to make Melissa my assistant manager.”

“What?” Melissa asks shocked.

“I want you to help me run this place, will you do it?” I ask.

“Yes, Max, I’ll do it.” Melissa says.

This is also met with applause.

‘Now for the hard part.’ I think.

“Next thing I need to tell you is, I’m sick.” I say.

“Max, what’s wrong?” Zack asks.

“Guys, I have cancer.”

Everyone falls quiet.

“How long do you have?” Slater quietly asks.

“I don’t know yet. I’ll find out tomorrow.” I say trying to keep my voice from cracking.

Everyone just looks at me.

‘I don’t want your pity, I don’t need anyone to pity me, I’ll be fine.’ I think.

“I have one more thing I need to say. Melissa, will you come here please?” I ask.

Melissa stands up and walks over to me. She stands next to me.

“What is it Max?” Melissa asks.

I begin to pray this trick works. I push up the sleeves on my jacket, and wave my hands around a few times. While I have everyone distracted I pull a small box and a cloth out of the front pocket of my jacket. I place the box under the cloth and place it in my hand. I pull the cloth away from my hand revealing the box.

I open the box and inside is a diamond ring.

“Max, what’s going on?” Melissa asks puzzled.

I get down on one knee hoping she’ll get the hint.

“Melissa, will you marry me?” I ask.

“Oh my God, yes!” Melissa shouts.

I stand up and put the ring on her finger. She pulls me close and gives me a kiss. Everyone claps.

“Way to go Max!” Zack shouts.

“Ok guys, you can go now.” I say.

Everyone starts walking past me saying congrats. Screech starts walking by and I grab his arm.

“Screech, I need to talk to you.”

“I really need to get home.” Screech says.

“I’ll take you home when we’re done.”

“Fine.”

Everyone but Melissa, Screech, and I leave.

“Melissa, what are you still doing here?” I ask.

“I need a ride home.” Melissa says.

“Ok, could you wait in my office please?”

“Sure.” Melissa says and walks off.

“What did you want to talk about Max?” Screech asks.

“I have something important to tell you.” I say.

“You don’t really love Melissa?”

“No, that’s not it. I do love her.”

“So, what is it?”

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly trying to ready myself for what I have to say.

“Screech, I’m your half brother.”

“What?!” Screech shouts.

“I’m your half brother. My dad is your dad.” I say.

“That explains a lot.” Screech says.

“What do you mean?” I ask puzzled.

“I’ve always wondered why I don’t look like my dad.”

“You know, that also makes Ella your half sister.”

“Neat, I’ve always wanted a sister.”

‘Of course everyone wants a sister, they never want a brother.’ I think.

“I don’t think Ella will be too happy when she finds out.” Melissa says.

“You were listening?” I ask.

“It was kind of hard not to.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s quiet in here, you can hear everything.”

“I guess you’re right.” I say.

“Max, I need to get home now.” Screech says.

“Ok, let’s go.”

Melissa and Screech walk out. I follow them shutting out the lights and locking the door. I walk over to my car and see Melissa and Screech waiting there. I unlock it and we get in. I start my car and we drive off with Screech telling me where he lives.

I drop Screech off at his house and head back to my place without thinking.

“Max, I thought you were going to take me home?” Melissa asks.

“It’s late, why don’t you just crash at my place?” I ask.

“Fine.” Melissa says.

We get to my place and I park my car. We get out and I lock it. Melissa and I walk up to the house and I unlock the door. I open the door and Melissa walks in. I follow her in turning on the lights and shutting the door.

“Don’t mind the mess.” I say.

Objects from many different magic tricks are thrown about the room.

“What happened here?” Melissa asks.

“I got frustrated with a magic trick and had a minor temper tantrum.”

“Max, what am I going to do with you?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m going to marry you silly.” Melissa says with a laugh.

I can’t help laughing with her.

“Come on, let’s get some sleep.” Melissa says.

We head upstairs to the bedroom.

“I’ll take the bathroom while you get ready in the bedroom.” I say.

“Ok, fine.”

We walk in the bedroom and I grab some clothes for bed before walking into the bathroom. I get in the bathroom and turn on the lights and shut the door. I put my clothes on the sink and look at myself in the mirror. My pale face can’t hide the worry that’s written on it. I shake my head and take off my jacket.

I hang it on the bathroom door and take off my t-shirt. I toss it on the floor and look at myself in the mirror once more. I see the faded and fading scars that run across my upper arms and torso.

‘How can Melissa love someone like me?’ I think.

How will she be able to see past the scars? Will she ever really be able to see past them? Will I ever be able to stop cutting myself? I mentally shake myself out of my thoughts and finish undressing. I stand there in my underclothes and just stare at myself.

I see the scars that run down both my legs. They run from my ankles to my thighs. While looking at the scars I can’t help but be reminded of the pain my life has caused me. I open one of the drawers under the sink and pull out a box of razor blades. I stare at them for a moment debating whether or not I should do what I’m thinking about.

I just give up and open the box. I pull out a razor blade and close the box. I shove the box back in the drawer and shut it. I sit down on the bathroom floor and lean against the door. I take the razor blade in my right hand and run it across the inside of my lower left arm.

As the blood starts to appear on my arm, I repeat the process on the inside of my upper arm. The blood appears and I start to feel a sense of calm, like I’m finally in control of everything. I take the razor blade in my left hand and run it across the inside of my lower right arm. I watch the blood appear on my arm and repeat the process on my upper arm. The blood appears and I finally feel calm and at peace.

As I sit there basking in my calm state there’s a knock on the door. I quickly throw the razor blade away. The knock comes again.

“Max, are you ok?” Melissa asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I say.

“Can I come in?”

I stand up and say, “Yes.”

The door opens and Melissa walks in.

She looks at my arms and asks, “What did you do?”

“I had to.” I mumble.

“You didn’t have to do anything.” Melissa says.

‘You don’t understand, I had to do it, I can’t help it. I need to be in control of my life and body.’ I think.

I just hang my head in shame.

“Why did you do it?” Melissa asks.

“I couldn’t help myself.” I say without looking at her.

Melissa fills the sink with water. She grabs a washcloth from the towel rack and puts it in the sink to get it wet. She wrings it out and grabs my left arm. She takes the washcloth and starts cleaning the cuts on my arm stopping only to rinse out the washcloth. I jump when she places the washcloth on my arm.

‘It never hurts when I clean them myself.’ I think.

Have I become so immune to the pain that I don’t feel it anymore? 

“I don’t want you to have to do this forever.” I say.

“What are you saying Max?” Melissa asks.

“If you want to call off the engagement, I’ll understand.”

“I’m not going to call off the engagement, I love you. I’m in this for the long haul.” Melissa says.

I just smile at her. She rinses out the washcloth once more and then tends to my right arm. When she finishes she rinses out the wash cloth and sets it by the sink. She lets out the water and sighs.

“Much better.” Melissa whispers.

She looks up at me, her eyes falling on the scars that run across my chest. I wonder what she’s thinking right now. Is she thinking what I’m thinking? That they’re ugly and unsightly.

“They’re ugly, aren’t they?” I ask.

“They may be ugly, but they’re a part of you.” Melissa says.

“I wish they weren’t.” I say.

“So, have plastic surgery to fix that.”

‘Did she really just say that? Does she know that won’t fix anything.’ I think.

“That won’t solve anything, I’ll still hurt myself.”

Melissa lets out a long sigh.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” I say.

“Yes you did Max, you can’t fool me.” Melissa says.

‘You’re right I can’t fool anyone. I can’t even fool myself.’ I think.

I let out a long frustrated sigh.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“You’re fine, I know you meant well.”

“I love you.” Melissa says as she pulls me close.

She gives me a kiss on the lips.

I pull away saying, “I’ve got to finish getting ready.”

“Ok, I’ll meet you in bed.” Melissa says.

She walks out of the bathroom shutting the door behind her. I finish getting ready for bed. I get ready and walk out of the bathroom. I walk into my room where I find Melissa lying in bed. I walk over to the bed and pull back the covers.

I get in bed next to Melissa and pull the covers over myself. Melissa turns off the light and moves closer to me. She snuggles close and puts her arms around me. I fall asleep with her arms around me.


	4. The Gang Reacts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I do not own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters. They belong to NBC and the writers of the show. I have just borrowed them for my story. The story and ideas in it belong to me. I only own my OC's.

Chapter 4: The Gang Reacts

Zack’s Point Of View:

I sit on my bed with Kelly’s head resting on my shoulder. Slater and Jessie are sitting on the floor along with Lisa and Screech. Jessie has her head resting on Slater’s shoulder, and Lisa unbelievably has her head resting on Screech’s shoulder. I look at the faces of my friends. The looks on their faces mostly match what I’m thinking.

I really can’t tell what Slater’s feeling, his face is a mixture of sadness and rage. Kelly sniffles next to me.

“Everything’s going to be alright Kelly.” I say.

“No it’s not Preppie, Max is going to die.” Slater says.

“He’s not going to die Slater.” Jessie says.

“Yes he is. Cancer kills people.”

“Slater, Max is strong, he won’t let this beat him.” Lisa says.

“We need to help him somehow.” Screech says.

“But how?” Kelly asks her voice cracking with sadness.

I wrap my arms around her.

“Why don’t we hold some kind of fundraiser for him?” I ask.

“How are we going to pull that off?” Slater asks.

“I’m sure we can figure something out.” I say.

“What are you up to Zack?” Jessie asks.

“We can use the radio station again to help.”

“Do you think Belding will let us use it again after what happened last month?” Lisa asks.

“You’re right, he probably won’t let us use it.”

“What about selling friendship bracelets again?” Screech asks.

“The last time we did that we butted heads and stopped talking to each other and Max had to get involved.” I quietly say.

“But this time is different, we’re doing this for Max.” Kelly says.

“It might work.”

I let go of Kelly and lay back on my bed. How are we going to pull this off? I close my eyes and try to think of a way to make this work.

Kelly’s Point Of View:

Zack lays down on his bed and shuts his eyes like he’s trying to think of something. All I can think of right now is poor Max. How did someone as nice as him end up with something so awful like cancer? I never thought someone I trust and look up to would end up sick. Can we really help Max?

Is Slater right, is Max going to die? Or is he going to be ok like Zack says? I have hundreds of questions running through my mind right now and none of them make much sense. I lay down next to Zack and close my eyes. I need to clear my head before tomorrow.

Slater’s Point Of View:

I can’t believe Zack is so confident that Max is going to be fine. I know better, cancer kills people. Max is going to die and we can’t stop it no matter what we do. It’s going to be hard letting him go when it’s time. He’s almost like another member of the gang.

I still remember what he told me last month: ‘If you want something bad enough, find a way to make it happen.’ There’s no way I can find a way to make what I want happen. I don’t want Max to die, but I can’t figure out how to stop that. I look at Jessie for a moment. She picks up her head and puts it in her hands and rubs her face.

I begin to wonder what she’s thinking. Is she thinking that Max is going to die? Does she know that’s what I’m thinking? I lay down on the floor and close my eyes. I’m hoping I can come up with something by tomorrow.

Jessie’s Point Of View:

I can’t believe what Max told us. Cancer? Him? It’s impossible. Although I do believe Max may have some other problem.

I only say that because I saw the scars on his arms. It was about four months ago, when Zack tried to get Kelly to go to the sweetheart dance with him. I was alone at The Max listening to the new Bo Revere single when Max came up to the table. He was talking about the jukebox and when he sat down across from me I noticed scars running across his forearm. I wanted to ask him about them but I started talking about Zack.

Maybe someday soon I’ll ask him about them but for now all I want to do is figure out how to help him. I lay down next to Slater and close my eyes. I hope to come up with something by tomorrow.

Lisa’s Point Of View:

Oh my God, Max has cancer. I’m shocked and stunned. I can’t believe it I don’t want him to die. He’s always helping us with things and giving us advice on how to make the most of life. Life, it seems Max may not have much life left in him.

Maybe that was his way of trying to tell us he was dying long before he knew he was sick. Or maybe not. I’m sure it was more than likely something else. I pick my head up off Screech’s shoulder and lay down on the floor. I need to clear my head before tomorrow.

Screech’s Point Of View:

I can’t believe Max is my half brother. I also can’t believe he has cancer. Things like cancer shouldn’t happen to nice people like Max. We really need to do something for him, but what? Friendship bracelets?

No, that didn’t work last time as Zack pointed out. Max had to step in and bring us back together again. A radio fundraiser? No, that won’t work either. We’re not allowed to use the radio station after what we did last month.

Well, whatever we come up with will be good, I hope. I lay down next to Lisa and close my eyes.

Zack’s Point Of View:

I wake up to my alarm and see Kelly sleeping on my bed. I look around and see Slater, Jessie, Lisa, and Screech sleeping on the floor. I shake Kelly to wake her.

“Kelly, wake up.” I say.

“What?” Kelly asks.

“We need to get to school.”

“Zack, what’s going on?”

“You fell asleep at my house, along with the rest of the gang.”

“We need to wake them up.” Kelly says.

“Guys, wake up!” I shout.

Slater sits up and blinks a few times.

“What’s going on Preppie?” He asks.

“You fell asleep on the floor.” I say.

“Great, my dad’s going to kill me.”

“No he won’t.”

“That’s what you think.” Slater says.

“Zack, what’s going on?” Jessie asks.

“You fell asleep at my house.” I say.

“Do we have to go to school?’

“Yes.” Lisa says.

“Why?” Screech asks.

“We need to ask Belding about what we’re planning on doing for Max.” I say.

This is met with silence. We get up and leave the house. We head to school in silence. We’re at our lockers when we start arguing. That doesn’t last long as Belding breaks it up.

“What is going on here?” Belding asks.

“Slater started it.” Jessie says.

“I don’t care who started it. All of you report to my office, now.” Belding says.

“Way to go guys.” I say.

“I did nothing wrong and I’m getting in trouble, thanks Zack.” Jessie says.

“Oh, be quiet.” I say.

We head to Belding’s office.

“What’s going on guys?” He asks.

“Well, sir, we have a problem.” Slater says.

“What’s the problem?”

“You see, a friend of ours is sick and we want to do something for him.” Kelly says.

“Who’s this friend?” Belding asks.

“It’s Max.” Jessie says.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“Mr. B, he has cancer.” I say.

“Zack, I’m sorry. I know how much you guys look up to him.” Belding says.

We sit in silence for a few moments.

“What do you want to do for him?” Belding asks.

“We want to do some kind of fundraiser for him.” Screech says.

“Like what?”

“That’s what we can’t decide on sir.” Slater says.

“We wanted to use the radio station to do the fundraiser, and maybe hold it at the Max.” Kelly says.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Belding says.

“Thank you Mr. Belding.” Jessie says.

“You guys can go now.”

We head out of Belding’s office and head to class. Although I don’t think we’re going to learn too much today because we have so much on our minds.


	5. Resist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I do not own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters, they belong to NBC and the writers of the show. I have simply borrowed them for my story. I only own my story and OC's. Chapter title comes from the Rush song of the same name.

'I can learn to resist anything but temptation. I can learn to coexist with anything but pain.'-Resist-Rush

Chapter 5: Resist

I wake up and look around me. This isn’t my bedroom, this isn’t even my apartment. I look next to me and see Max with his face buried in the pillows. That’s when I remember the events from last night and how I agreed to stay at his place. Max rolls over onto his back and moans in his sleep.

I reach over and run a finger over his cheek.

‘He looks so peaceful lying there.’ I think.

Suddenly Max screams in his sleep and sits up gasping for breath.

“What’s wrong?” I ask sitting up.

“Nightmare.” Max says as he rubs his face.

“About what?” I ask puzzled.

“I dreamt I told Jeff I wasn’t selling and when I did he told me he went over my head and bought the place from my mom. He told me I was fired and when I refused to leave he shot me.” Max says.

“I think you’re overreacting. Nothing like that is going to happen.” I say.

“I know nothing’s going to happen, but my dreams have been so strange lately.” Max says with a sigh.

I reach over and rub his back.

“What do you think it’s from?” I ask.

“It might be from the tumor.” Max quietly says.

‘I wish I could make this all go away.’ I think.

I continue to rub his back. I get to his shoulder blades and I can feel some scars through the fabric of his shirt.

‘How can he reach there?’ I think.

Max goes to get up knocking my hand off his back.

“Where are you going?” I ask.

“I’ve got to get Jeff’s number so I can call him.” Max says.

“Fine, but you’ve got to come right back.” I say.

“Yes mom.” Max sarcastically says.

“Yes mom?” I ask puzzled.

“Sorry, you sound like my mom sometimes.” Max says.

‘His mom caught him cutting himself?’ I think.

“Your mom caught you?”

“No, although I sometimes wish she had.” Max says with a sigh.

“Why?”

“I think if she had, I might not be this bad now.”

“Or you could be worse.” I say.

“You don’t know that.” Max says raising his voice.

“You don’t know that either. If your mom had caught you then what? Would you have continued to cut yourself or would you have gone to the other extreme and killed yourself?” I ask nearly shouting.

“I don’t want to die.” Max whispers.

I take a deep breath and slowly let it out to calm myself.

“Then why do you cut yourself?” I calmly ask.

“I have many reasons for doing it, which one do you want?” Max asks.

“All of them.” I say.

“I’ve struggled to fit in ever since I was a kid. I was never popular or I didn’t look right. I didn’t fit in with the nerds, jocks, cool kids, or anywhere else. I cut myself to rid my mind of the pain caused by being ignored or beaten up by bullies.” Max says.

‘Poor Max.’ I think.

“That’s why you cut yourself?” I ask puzzled.

“That’s not the only reason.”

“What are the rest?”

“I’ve also had weight issues since I was a kid. I was always the fattest kid around even when I got to be Zack’s age, I was still fat. I cut myself as a way to control what’s going on with my body.” Max says with a long sigh.

“I’m sure there’s more, right?” I ask.

“Yes, but I don’t want to bore you.” Max says and gets out of bed.

“You’re not going to bore me.” I say throwing the covers off.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Max says as he walks off.

He walks into the bathroom and slams the door. I quickly get out of bed and run over to the bathroom door.

“Max, open up!” I shout while pounding on the door.

“Leave me alone!” Max shouts.

I try to turn the doorknob but find the door locked.

“Max, if you don’t let me in, I’m going to call the fire department and have them break down the door!”

I hear the door unlock. It opens and Max stares at me.

“Leave me alone.” Max says through his teeth.

He goes to close the door and I grab it.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I say.

Max lets out a long sigh and walks out of the bathroom. He walks into the bedroom and I follow him. He sits down on the bed and puts his glasses on. He picks up the phone and looks at what appears to be a crumpled napkin that he’s holding in his hand. He looks at it for a moment and then dials the phone.

“Jeff, this is Max.” He says.

I get ready for work while listening to Max’s end of the conversation.

“Yes, I’m calling about The Max.”

There is a long pause from Max while he listens to what Jeff has to say. I throw on my jeans in the time it takes for Max to answer again.

“I’ve decided not to sell. I’ve found an assistant manager to help me run things.” Max says.

I pull my shirt over my head and listen to the silence from Max.

“Well, if I decide to sell again, I’ll let you know. Goodbye.” Max says and hangs up the phone.

By now I’m ready for work.

“How did Jeff take it?” I ask.

“Pretty well, although I’m sure he wasn’t happy with my decision.”

“He’ll get over it.” I say.

“I hope so.” Max says.

“Would you have rather sold it to him?” I ask.

“No, I would rather run it.” Max quietly says.

I see a far away look in his eyes like he’s thinking of something or someone else. But who or what is he thinking of? An ex-lover? A lost child maybe? Or is there something he hasn’t told me?

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Sit down and I’ll tell you.” Max says.

I walk over to him and sit down on the bed next to him.

I put my arm around him asking, “So, what’s wrong?”

“I wasn’t 100% honest with you yesterday.”

“What do you mean?” I ask puzzled.

“Remember how I told you I’m the oldest of three kids? Well that’s not quite true.” Max says with a sigh.

“What’s the truth?”

“Well, if you want to get technical, I’m really the oldest of four kids.” Max says.

“What do you mean by that?” I ask.

“I have, or should I say, I had a twin sister.” Max says his voice cracking with sadness.

“What happened to her?”

“She was killed by a drunk driver when we were 18.” Max says.

‘That must have been awful for him. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a sister, let alone a twin sister.’ I think.

“I’m so sorry.” I say.

“Don’t be, it’s my fault she’s dead.”

“Huh?” I ask puzzled.

“We were coming home from a school dance. I was driving and we were hit head on by a drunk driver. The crash killed my sister and I was in a coma for six months. I didn’t even know she was dead until I woke up.” Max says breaking down in tears.

‘They must have been very close, otherwise he wouldn’t act like this.’ I think.

I silently take this all in.

“It’s my fault she died. If I had let her drive, she’d still be here.”

“You don’t know that.” I quietly say.

“Maxine wouldn’t be dead if I hadn’t screwed up and drove home. She’d still be here, she’d have her diner, and I’d be rotting in some hole in the ground instead of her!” Max shouts.

“Max, calm down.” I say.

“Oh, Maxine, what have I done?” Max asks.

“Earth to Max, is everything ok?” I ask.

“Sorry, my sister can be a sore subject sometimes.” Max says.

“Why?”

“The Max should have been hers, not mine. My mom reminds me of that every chance she gets.” Max says.

“What?” I ask puzzled.

I don’t really get an answer from Max, he just goes off on some sort of rant.

“Maxwell, you should be more like your sister. Why can’t you be responsible like she was? Remember, you’re the reason Maxine isn’t here anymore. You screwed up and got her killed!” Max shouts.

“Are you ok?”

“No, I’m not ok.” Max says with a sigh.

“Is your sister why you cut yourself?” I ask.

“Part of it.” Max says.

“I know you gave other reasons for doing it, but it sounds to me like your sister is the main reason for it.” I say.

“When my sister and I were growing up, cutting was a fad and many kids tried it to fit in. Well, my sister and I tried it to fit in. She tried it a few times and didn’t like it, Me on the other hand, I liked the pain it caused, it made me forget the pain of not living up to my parents expectations.” Max says.

“You enjoy it?” I ask.

Max gives a nod of his head as an answer.

“Why?”

“It gives me a sense of control. I can control what I feel and when I feel it.” Max says.

I just shake my head. How could anyone enjoy hurting themselves? I just can’t wrap my head around it.

“I need to get ready for work.” Max mumbles.

He stands up and walks off. He walks into the bathroom and shuts the door. He comes out a few minutes later dressed in black slacks, a black the Max t-shirt, and black jacket.

“Ready?” Max asks.

“Yes.” I say.

I stand up and walk over to him. We walk out of the bedroom and head downstairs. We leave the house and get in Max’s car. We head to work. We get to work and start getting things ready.

Just before noon Max heads off to his office complaining of a headache. I work my shift without too much hassle until Zack and his friends come in. They take their usual spot and I walk over to them. I notice they look tired and that they have on the same clothes they did yesterday.

“What’s up guys?” I ask.

“We were wondering if Max had found out anything yet.” Slater says.

I remember seeing something about an appointment at two today for a Dr. Greene. Or at least that was the name scribbled on a piece of paper by the phone.

“I think he’s going to the doctor at 2.” I say.

“We’ll just come back after school then.” Zack says.

“If that’s what you want.”

They leave and my shift goes quickly until Max leaves for his appointment. He leaves and everything goes to hell. Food isn’t coming out right at all.

‘Why did Max even bother to make me assistant manager? I can’t run things right at all.’ I think.

When Max gets back things start going well again.

“What’s the news?” I ask.

“The doctor says I have six months if I don’t have the surgery.” Max says.

I can tell by the look on his face he’s not being entirely truthful. I’m pretty sure he has less than six months if he decides not to have the surgery.

“And if you do have the surgery?”

“I have a very long life ahead of me.”

“Well, that’s good to know.” I say.

“Yep.” Max says.

No sooner he says this Zack and his friends show up. They head to their usual spot. We walk over to them.

“What’s the news Max?” Slater asks.

“I have six months if I don’t have surgery.”

“And if you have surgery?” Zack asks.

“Years.”

“Years?” Kelly asks.

“Yes, the rest of my natural life, however long that is.” Max says.

“That’s great news!” Jessie exclaims.

“Yes it is. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some things I need to take care of.” Max says and walks off.

“What?” Lisa asks.

“He’s got to tell his sister Ella.” I say.

“Ella’s his sister?” Slater asks.

“Yes.”

“She can’t be his sister, she’s far too pretty.” Zack says.

I chuckle at this. If only they knew how much I miss my own sister. I often wonder how she’s doing back in Ohio.

“Do you have any family, Melissa?” Kelly asks.

“Not here. My family is all back in Ohio.” I say.

“Why did you leave?” Jessie asks.

“I came out here to go to Cal U, but I decided I didn’t like it and got a job here.” I say.

Suddenly I start to feel unwell. I feel sick to my stomach. Am I pregnant? Or is this from worrying about Max?

“Is something wrong?” Lisa asks.

“I’ll be right back.” I say.

I walk off and head to the kitchen. I order a ginger ale and drink it. It does nothing to settle my queasy stomach. I head back to Zack’s table.

“You ok?” Slater asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I say.

“Are you sure?” Zack asks.

‘No, I’m not sure.’ I think.

“Yes, I’ve just been so worried about Max that it’s made me sick to my stomach.” I say.

“You should be relieved now.” Kelly says.

“I am, now are you guys ready to order?” I ask.

I get yeah from everyone but Jessie.

“You guys go ahead and order. I need to ask Max something.” Jessie says.

She stands up and walks to Max’s office leaving me wondering what’s so important.


	6. All My Scars Don't Seem To Matter Anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I don't own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters, they belong to NBC and the writers of the show. I have just borrowed them for my story. The story and ideas in it belong to me. I also own my OC's. In this chapter Max is confronted about his cutting problem by Jessie. I am also revealing that he's much sicker than he let on. Chapter title comes from a line in the Daughtry song Start Of Something Good.

'And all my scars don't seem to matter anymore, cause they've lead me here to you.'-Start Of Something Good-Daughtry

Chapter 6: All My Scars Don’t Seem To Matter Anymore

I pace in my office trying to calm myself. I want to avoid temptation if I can. I stop pacing and take off my jacket. I hang it on my chair and sit down. I’m about to open my desk drawer when there’s a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” I ask.

“Max, it’s Jessie. Can I talk to you about something?” The person asks.

“Yeah, come in.” I say.

I really don’t want to talk to anyone right now. I wasn’t honest with anyone before. I really only have weeks left if I don’t have the surgery. I’m honestly thinking about not having it so I join my twin sister wherever she may be. The door opens and Jessie walks in.

“Have a seat.” I say.

She walks in and shuts the door. She walks over to the chair by my desk and sits down.

I cross my legs and ask, “What can I help you with?”

“Well, I have a friend who I think has a problem that they’re trying to hide.” Jessie says.

“What kind of problem?” I ask.

“Self harm. I think they may be cutting themselves.”

I uncross my legs and drop my arms into my lap. I look down at my scarred arms. Has Jessie seen the scars on my arms? I don’t think she or the rest of the gang has seen them, I usually try to cover them up. I look back up at her.

“What makes you say this?” I ask puzzled.

“They’re always wearing a jacket. I’ve only seen them in short sleeves a few times.” Jessie says.

“Who is this friend?”

“You.”

“What makes you think I cut myself?”

“Max, I saw the scars on your arms about four months ago.” Jessie quietly says.

“It’s not what you think.” I say.

“Don’t lie Max, some of the marks on your arms looked new.” Jessie says.

I remain quiet. I can’t think of anything to say.

“Why do you do it?” Jessie asks.

“I wish there was a simple answer Jessie, but there isn’t. I have many reasons for doing it, one of them being control.” I say.

“Control?” Jessie asks puzzled.

“Yes, I need to be in control of what happens to my body and when it happens.” I quietly say.

“You sound like Emma.” Jessie says.

“Who’s Emma?” I ask.

“She’s a friend of mine. She’s a cutter too.”

“How do you know that?”

“She’s always wearing long sleeves, and when she isn’t, she tries to explain the cuts on her arms as something else.”

“For some people, myself included, it’s easier to cover the scars up or give some other reason for them then to try to explain what’s really going on.” I say.

‘Much like someone who has been abused tries to cover up or give other reasons for bruises.’ I think.

“If that’s the case, why don’t you stop?” Jessie asks.

“It’s not that easy Jessie. Even if I were to stop the reasons for doing it will still remain.”

“So talk to someone about them.” Jessie says.

“I can’t, no one would understand.”

“What do you mean?” Jessie asks puzzled.

“My parents still blame me for something that happened six years ago.” I quietly say.

“What happened?”

“My twin sister was killed by a drunk driver.” I say my voice cracking with sadness.

I still can’t get over the fact Maxine is gone. She was the one person I could talk about my problems to without being judged. I can’t do that now I have no one. Except Ella. But Ella and I don’t share that same bond that Maxine and I did.

“Max, I’m so sorry.” Jessie says.

“Don’t be. Indirectly it is my fault.”

“What?” Jessie asks.

“I was bringing my sister home from a dance when we were hit head on. She was killed and I was in a coma for six months. I didn’t find out she had died until I woke up.” I say rubbing my face.

“Are you ok?” Jessie asks.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

My hands drop to my sides. I don’t remember the accident that killed Maxine too well. I only remember bits and pieces of it, and even then I don’t know how much is really me remembering it and how much of it is what my parents told me about it. I can’t separate the truth from the lies.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. The thing is, I don’t remember the accident that killed Maxine too well. I only get bits of it in my dreams or if I tell someone about it.” I say.

“Were you drinking that night?”

“No, and I wasn’t high either.”

“So, why don’t you remember?”

“I must have blocked it out because it was too painful for me to remember.”

Jessie says nothing and grabs my hand. I jump at her touch. I’m not really used to someone comforting me when I’m sad. My mother never did that for me.

“It’s ok Max, maybe you’ll remember it someday.” Jessie says as she lets my hand go.

“Maybe, maybe not.” I say.

“It will happen when you least expect it.”

“Thanks.” I whisper.

Jessie looks at my arms. Her eyes fall on the cuts from yesterday.

“Those are recent, aren’t they?” Jessie asks pointing at my arms.

“Yes, they’re from yesterday.” I say.

“Do they hurt?” Jessie asks.

“I don’t feel it anymore. I’ve become numb to the pain I’m causing myself.” I admit.

“If you don’t feel it anymore, why do you still do it?”

“I do it because it makes me feel calm once I’m done.”

“Max, you’ve got to stop or you could end up dead.” Jessie says.

“I’m not going to end up dead, I know what I’m doing.” I say.

“That’s what Emma says, and she’s nearly killed herself before.”

“I’ve never done that because I don’t want to die.”

“Please stop, for me and the gang.”

“I can’t promise anything.” I say.

My head starts pounding and I moan.

“Are you ok Max?” Jessie asks.

“I’ll be fine shortly.” I say.

“Are you sure, you look like you’re going to pass out.” Jessie says.

I don’t say anything because I feel like if I open my mouth I’ll throw up.

“Max, are you alright?” Jessie asks concerned.

I say nothing. My head starts to spin and I can feel my eyes start to roll back in my head. I shake my head trying to clear it. It doesn’t work and I can feel myself starting to pass out.

“Jessie, get help.” I say.

She runs out of my office saying, “Hang on Max.”

I stand up hoping that will help, but it doesn’t. The blood drains from my head and I sway on my feet. I try to steady myself, but it’s too late. My eyes roll back in my head and I fall to the floor. The last thing I remember before losing consciousness is wishing I had told everyone the truth.


	7. Ripples

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I don't own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters, they belong to NBC and the writers of the show. I have just borrowed them for my story. I only own my story and OC's. Chapter title comes from the Genesis song of the same name.

'Sail away, away. Ripples never come back, gone to the other side. Sail away, away.'-Ripples-Genesis

Chapter 7: Ripples

I’m handing Zack and his friends their orders when Jessie comes running out of Max’s office. She runs over to me.

“Jessie, what’s wrong?” I ask.

She takes a moment to catch her breath, then says, “There’s something wrong with Max. He looked like he was about to pass out.”

I set my tray on the table and run to Max’s office with the gang on my heels. When I get in the office I find Max laying face down on the floor. I walk over and kneel down next to him. I give him a shake to try and wake him.

“Max, wake up.” I say.

He doesn’t stir. It doesn’t even look like he’s breathing. I need help getting him on his back so I can help him. Suddenly I remember that Kelly was a lifeguard and knows first aid.

“Kelly, come here. I need your help getting him on his back.” I say.

Kelly comes in and kneels down next to me. We roll Max onto his back. When we get him on his back, I can see the shallow rise and fall of his chest.

‘At least he’s breathing.’ I think.

“We need to call an ambulance.” Kelly says.

“Why?” Slater asks puzzled.

“His breathing is shallow, I can barely feel his pulse, and he may have hit his head when he passed out.”

“Zack, please call for help.” I say.

Zack moves away from the group and into the hall. I can hear him talking to someone.  
He comes back a few minutes later saying, “Help will be here in 5.”

“Someone go wait for the ambulance.” I say.

“I’ll do it.” Slater says.

“Thanks.”

I hear him walk away.

“Ok, guys, clear out.” Kelly says.

“Why?” Lisa asks.

“We need the medics to get in here, therefore we need a clear path.”

The gang quietly files away from the office.

“Thanks for the help Kelly.”

“No problem. I’d do anything to help a friend.”

“You really care about Max, don’t you?” I ask.

“He’s been there for us when we needed help or advice. I wanted to return the favor.”

I watch her eyes settle on the scars on Max’s arms.

“What are those from?” Kelly asks.

“You have to ask him that.” I say trying to avoid answering.

“I’m asking you because right now Max can’t speak for himself.” Kelly says.

“Promise you won’t tell anyone else?” I ask.

“I promise.”

“Max is a cutter. He says he does it to cope with the pain in his life.” I say.

Kelly falls silent. I wonder what she’s thinking. Is she as shocked as I was when I found out? Or is there something else?

“I know, I was also shocked when he told me.”

“If only I had been around when he was my age, maybe he would have had a person like him to give advice to him.” Kelly says.

‘Sounds like she’s a bit confused right now.’ I think.

“What?” I ask puzzled.

“What I’m saying is, I wish Max would have had someone in his life to give him the kind of advice he gives us.”

“I think deep inside he knows what his advice means to you guys. He’s trying to prevent one of you from turning out like him.” I say.

“I just wish he could have reached Emma before her problem started.”

“Who’s Emma?” I ask.

“She’s one of our friends. She’s a cutter like Max.”

I say nothing. I can only imagine the pain Emma might be going through in order for her to cut herself. My thoughts are interrupted by Slater walking into the office.

“The paramedics are here.” Slater says.

“Bring them in.” I say.

Slater leaves. He returns a few minutes later with the medics. One of the medics is a tall guy with brown eyes and brown hair. The other is a lady with brownish-blonde hair. I stand up and walk away from Max so the medics can do their work.

Kelly stands up and moves next to me.

‘Everything’s going to be ok now Max.’ I think.

I watch helplessly as the paramedics work on Max. They pick him up to lay him on the gurney. As they do I notice that his body is limp like a rag dolls. I overhear the medics say something about Max not breathing.

‘God, please help him through this.’ I think.

I walk out of the office with Kelly following me. The medics take Max from the diner. I follow them out and watch as they load him in the ambulance.

“Would you like to ride with us?” The male medic asks.

I give a nod of my head as an answer.

“Come on then.” He says.

I get in the back of the ambulance and sit down across from where Max is laying.

‘He’s too still. He hardly looks like he’s alive.’ I think.

I can barely see his chest rise and fall with every breath he takes. I take his hand in mine.

“Hang on Max, everything will be ok soon.” I whisper.

The medic who asked if I wanted to ride with them gets in the back with me and shuts the doors. The female medic gets in the front and starts the engine.

“Ok Kim, let’s roll.” The male medic says.

“Ok Bobby.” Kim says.

Bobby sits down near Max’s head so he can monitor his vital signs and we start moving.

“What’s your name?” Bobby asks.

“Melissa.” I whisper.

I feel like if I were to speak above a whisper all that would come out is a sob.

“Pretty name.” Bobby says.

I just nod my head in thanks.

“Is he your husband?” Bobby asks.

“No, fiancée.” I say.

“He’s lucky to have a pretty girl like you.” Bobby says.

“Thanks.”

“Bobby, we’re here.” Kim says.

I let go of Max’s hand.

‘God, please make everything ok with him.’ I think.

Bobby and Kim get Max out of the ambulance. I follow them out and into the hospital. I see a doctor who I guess is Dr. Greene run over to us.

“What happened?” He asks.

“He apparently passed out at his job.” Bobby says.

“I told him not to overwork himself.” Dr. Greene says.

“What’s going on?” I ask puzzled.

“Didn’t he tell you he only has a few weeks to live?” Dr. Greene asks.

“He told me six months.” I say.

‘I can’t believe Max is sicker than he let on.’ I think.

How could he do this to me? How could he not tell me the truth? My thoughts are interrupted by Dr. Greene talking.

“We need to get him up to surgery right now.” He says.

He motions to some nurses and the come running over. They all walk off taking Max with them.

Dr. Greene stops and says, “Come with me.”

I follow them upstairs and I’m shown to a waiting room. I take off my apron and toss it on a chair. I pull my t-shirt out of my jeans and start pacing around the waiting room. Every time a doctor or nurse walks by I stop pacing in the hopes that there’s some news about Max, but each time I’m let down. I continue my pacing for an hour before Dr. Greene walks in.

I stop my pacing and ask, “How is he?”

“He’s still not awake, but everything went well. We removed all of the tumor and he shouldn’t need chemo.” Dr. Greene says.

“Can I see him?” I ask.

“Yes, right this way.”

I pick up my apron and follow him to Max’s room. Dr. Greene leaves and I walk into the room. I sit down in the chair by Max’s bed and take his hand in mine. All I can do for a few minutes is just look at him. There’s a bandage on his forehead and the cuts on both arms have been bandaged, although I don’t think they’ll stay bandaged for long.

“Max, I know you can’t here me, but I’m here. I’m not leaving your side until you wake up.” I say.

My eyes grow heavy and I fall asleep holding Max’s hand.


	8. Everything But Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I don't own Saved By The Bell or any of it's characters, they belong to NBC and the writers of the show. I have simply borrowed them for my story. I only own my story and OC's. In this chapter I introduce my OC Emma who is a cutter like Max. Chapter title comes from the Daughtry song of the same name. The first verse and chorus are what inspired the chapter. The beginning of the chapter is my 'dream sequence.' I wrote it to show some of the bond between Max and his twin sister.

_'Far away in another place.  I'd give my soul just to see your face.  Found a note hidden in my suitcase.  Of everything that you just couldn't say.  How'd you know I needed that today?  Where ever you are is where I want to be.  Look around and tell me what you see.  Everything, everything but me.  No matter how many miles stand in between.  In my heart is where you'll be holdin' on to all our dreams.  With everything, everything but me.'-Everything But Me-Daughtry._

**Chapter 8: Everything But Me**

_I look around me.  This isn't my office.  This isn't even my housse.  There's nothing but clouds as far as the eye can see._

_'Where am I?'  I think._

_"Maxwell, is that you?"  Someone asks._

_I turn around and see Maxine standing before me.  But she can't be here, she's dead._

_"Maxine?"  I ask puzzled._

_"Yes, it's me."  She says._

_"Where am I?"_

_"You're in heaven."_

_"Am I dead?"  I ask panicking._

_"No, you're not dead.  It's not your time yet."  Maxine says trying to calm me down._

_"Then why am I here?"  I ask._

_"You wanted to see me, didn't you?  Well, you got your chance."  Maxine says._

_"I wis thing hadn't happened the way they did.  You should be running The Max, and I should be waiting tables.  Just like we planned."  I say._

_"That was our dream, wasn't it?"  Maxine asks._

_"Yes, and I'm sure it would have worked."_

_"Don't be too sure of that Max."  Maxine says._

_"Why?  It's true, isn't it?"  I ask._

_"You were always the dreamer in the family."_

_"I still am.  I still have this dream of someone else running The Max while I wait on tables."  I say._

_"That's just a pipe dream Max.  That dream died six years ago.  Along with any other dreams we had."  Maxine says with a sigh._

_"I know, don't remind me."_

_"Are mom and dad still giving you a hard time?"  Maxine asks._

_"Yes.  They remind me every day that I'm the reason you died."  I say with a long sigh._

_"That accident wasn't even your fault."  Maxine says._

_"I know that, but either mom and dad don't, or they don't care."  I say._

_"They'll forget soon enough."_

_"What do you mean?"  I ask puzzled._

_"Don't worry Max, mom and dad are old.  They'll forget about the accident eventually."_

_"True, but I wish they'd forget now."  I say._

_Maxine lets out a long sigh.  She looks at my arms.  I'm sure I know what she's thinking right now._

_"You're still cutting yourself?"  She asks._

_"Yes, and I can't stop."  I quietly say._

_"I have a way to get you to stop."  Maxine says._

_"What is it?"  I ask._

_"I can't say, but you'll find out soon enough."_

_"If you say so."  I say._

_"I do say so."_

_I just look at her for a moment to remember her the way she was._

_"I have to go now Max."  Maxine says._

_"Don't leave me."  I say._

_"I'll never leave you, I'll always be in your heart.  I'm always a part of you."_

_"I love you."_

_"I love you too Max."_

_She gives me a hug and then disappears._

_"Maxine, come back!"  I shout._

_I get no answer.  I see a blinding white light that makes me shut my eyes._

When I open them again I notice I’m in the hospital.  I look next to me and see Melissa sleeping in a chair.  Her hand is wrapped tightly around mine.  I try to remove my hand from hers, but I only manage to wake her up.  She blinks her eyes a few times to focus and looks at me.

“Max, you’re awake.”  Melissa says her voice thick with sleep.

“How long have I been out?”  I ask.

“A couple days.”

“Really?  I didn’t think it was that long.”  I say.

“I’ve been sleeping here the last two days.”

“Who’s been running The Max?”  I ask.

“I put Ella in charge.”  Melissa says.

I shift in bed trying to get comfortable.

“When do I get out of here?”

“Dr. Greene said maybe tomorrow.”

“Great, I can’t wait.”  I say.

“You’re not thinking of going back to work, are you?”  Melissa asks.

“Yes, I need to get back to work so I don’t go crazy.”

“If you say so.”  Melissa says.

“I do say so.”  I say with a yawn.

“I’ll let you get some sleep.”  Melissa says.

She lets go of my hand and stands up.  She walks out of the room and I close my eyes.  I fall asleep dreaming of Maxine.  When I wake up it’s the next morning.  Melissa is standing at the foot of my bed with some clothes.

She hands them to me saying, “Get dressed so we can go.”

I’m guessing that she’s already signed the release papers or she somehow bribed Dr. Greene to let me out of here.  I take the clothes from her and get out of bed.  I walk into the bathroom and shut the door.  I get dressed removing the bandages from my arms.  I walk out of the bathroom and look at Melissa.

She walks over to me and we leave.  We get in my car and she starts it and we drive to work.  By the time we get there Ella and the rest of the staff have everything set up.  I head to my office and walk in.  I shut the door and walk over to my desk.

I sit down and start going through two days worth of paperwork.  I lose track of time while I’m working.  I just finish when there’s a knock on the door.

“Who is it?”  I ask.

“Max, it’s Jessie, I need to talk to you.”  The person says.

What could Jessie want?  Whatever it is, it must be important.

“Come in.”  I say.

The door opens and Jessie walks in with another girl following her.  I study the girl for a moment.  She’s about five foot ten, with blonde hair, green eyes, and she’s dresses in blue jeans, black Chuck Taylor high-tops, and a grey Bayside Tigers sweatshirt.

“Who’s your friend?”  I ask.

“Max, this is Emma, the girl I was telling you about.  She needs a job.”  Jessie says.

“Why?”

“I need a job so I can buy a car.”  Emma quietly says.

“Jessie, can you leave us alone so I can interview her?”

I notice Emma looks quite nervous.

“Sure thing.”  Jessie says and walks off.

“Have a seat.”  I say.

Emma walks in and shuts the door.  She walks over to the chair by my desk and sits down.

“So, tell me about yourself.”  I say.

“What do you want to know?”  Emma asks.

“Have you ever waited tables before?”  I ask.

“I had a job at another place waiting tables for about a year.”  Emma says.

“Why did you leave?”

“The place closed, so I really didn’t have much of a choice.”

“Well, I could use a hand here.”  I say.

“Great, when can I start?”  Emma asks.

“Today, but there is one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You have to wear a uniform.”

“That’s no problem.”  Emma says.

_'Will she back out when I tell her she has to wear a t-shirt?'_ I think. 

“The uniform is a t-shirt, you can’t wear a jacket or sweatshirt over it though.”  I say.

I see her tense when I say this.  I can almost see the wheels in her head turning while she tries to figure out a way to wear a jacket or sweatshirt over her t-shirt.

“But you wear a jacket over your t-shirt.”  Emma protests.

“I’m the owner, so I have to look somewhat professional.”  I point out.

“True.”  Emma says with a sigh.

“Those are the conditions, take it or leave it.”  I say.

“I’ll take the job.”  Emma says.

“Welcome to the staff.”  I say and stick out my hand.

Emma takes it and shakes it saying, “Thanks.”

I let her hand go and stand up.  I walk over to one of the cabinets in the corner of the office and open it.  I pull out a red t-shirt and shut the cabinet.  I walk over to Emma and hand her the shirt.  She takes it from me with a sigh.

“Put it on.”  I say.

Emma stands up and puts the shirt on the desk.  She unzips her sweatshirt.  I notice she’s wearing a black tank top under the sweatshirt.  She takes off her sweatshirt so she can put on the t-shirt.  That’s when I notice the scars running down both arms.

They run from her shoulders to her wrists.  Her scars look like mine.  If I were to guess I would say she’s also a cutter.  She sees me looking at her scars and goes to put her sweatshirt back on.  

I stop her saying, “It’s ok, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Sure.”  Emma says.

“I mean it.”  I say.

“Anyone who has ever said that to me has lied.”

“I won’t lie to you.”

“Sure.”

“I won’t lie because I understand.”

“What do you mean?”  Emma asks puzzled.

“I’m the same way.”  I say.

“Prove it.”  Emma says.

I say nothing and take off my jacket.  I throw it on my chair with a sigh.  Emma then looks at my arms.  I see her eyes tracing the scars that run from my wrists to just above my elbows where they disappear under my shirt sleeves.

“There’s more then the ones you see.”  I quietly say.

“What?”  Emma asks puzzled.

“There’s more scars.  I also have them on my upper arms, chest, and legs.”  I say.

“When did it start?”

“When I was about your age.”

“Why do you still do it?”

“Because, my parents still make me feel guilty over something that happened six years ago.”

“What happened?”

“My twin sister was killed in a car accident.  We were hit by a drunk driver.”  I quietly say.

“I’m sorry.”  Emma says.

“Even though it wasn’t my fault I still feel guilty.”  I say.

“You were close, I think that’s why you feel that way.”

“You’re wise for someone your age.”

“Thanks.”

“Now, get ready.”  I say.

Emma puts on her shirt and I put my jacket back on.

“Please don’t tell anyone.”  Emma says.

“I won’t.”  I say.

Emma goes to leave my office when I stop her.

“I’ll make a deal with you.”

“What’s that?”  Emma asks.

“I’ll stop cutting if you do.”

“Deal.”  Emma says and leaves.

I wonder if Emma will keep her end of the deal.  Hell, I wonder if I can keep my end of the deal.  I stand there wondering if this is what Maxine meant by she had a way of getting me to stop cutting myself.  Maybe she’s right.  Maybe I can stop cutting myself if I put my mind to it.


End file.
